i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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