Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
