do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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