Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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(330): View more from Ohio

just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings

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(818): View more from California

Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

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(248): View more from Michigan

i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.

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(626): View more from California

april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal

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