I CAN MOONWALK!
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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