Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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