Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
