I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize