Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
