Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The uberlube is also flammable
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
