I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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