life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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