Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
