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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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• (516): View more from New York

  my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.

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• (310): View more from California

  I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.

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