no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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