my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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