im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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