God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
