i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
