we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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