You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
