Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
