You can't special order awesome
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
