I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize