I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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