so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
