You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
