Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
