Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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