well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize