It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
