I need help removing her.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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