i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dignity is for republicans.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
