I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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