So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
