Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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