I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
