Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
