Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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