how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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