UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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