So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
