He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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