i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
