She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
