ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
