My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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