Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
