Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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