Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
