Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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