Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
