this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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