Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
