Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
