We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
