it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
