Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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