How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
